What have you learned from your infirmity?

"What is it that you have learned from your infirmity? ----Jesus the Christ, before he would administer a healing.

The idea being that pain is sometimes one of our greatest teachers. And that we have to learn what it is we need to learn from it, before the true healing or release can occur.

Ok, so what the heck have I learned from what is now 17 days of physical pain in my back/left arm?

My C3 and/or C5 nerve shut down, for those chiropractors/doctors out there. Sending intense pain down my whole arm and back....only the painkillers don't really work when the pain is neural. Anti-inflammatories and acupuncture take some of the edge off. I'm with a talented physical therapy guy who says 6-8 weeks of treatment and stretching and rest.

I've always had this one huge knot under my left scapula(inside rear left shoulder blade) which no amount of massage, acupuncture, muscle relaxers, Reiki, or many other modalities have been able to get to. I believe that to be what is releasing at this time.

I've become healthy enough, physically, emotionally, and otherwise, to have the strength to face a trauma that has been locked up for years. I have some ideas where this trauma came from, and more importantly, I simply know that it has always hurt there. And now, whether through meditation, or other means, I am able to, as the Buddhist would call, act as witness.

Witness the pain.

Yes, it sucks. Big time. But almost from the minute it occurred, I've been asking myself what the hell am I to learn from this? Once I fully "learn from my infirmity", I believe it will be fully released.

I did a balance facilitated by a healer friend Jessica, and through a kinesiology technique(muscle testing), I muscle-tested weak for the statement :

"It's OK to make mistakes."

Muscle testing weak refers to there is a limiting belief pattern in our subconscious field, which is holding us back in life. We all have cellular memory, and our essence is reflected in every one of our billions of cells. So if we believe something we will muscle test positive for it, because we literally believe it with every cell of our body. For the intent of this example, at that moment, I believed, at the subconscious level, "It's not OK to make mistakes."

It is the same concept of why authorities can see if you have done drugs by sampling your hair. The memory is embedded in the cells of your hair.

Quantum science says that are environments DO matter (www.brucelipton.com), biology of belief, and that we keep traumas at our cellular memory.

Ever have a big breakup with a boyfriend/girlfriend and you go and ask your hair stylist to cut all your hair off, and/or you decide to rid yourself of everything associated with that person?

Similar. This is a form of healing, whether one is conscious of it or not.

So I share my process in the hopes that it adds to yours. With my good friend Jess, I balanced for the statement, "It's Ok to make mistakes." Through a technique employing tenets of kinesiology, NLP, and acupressure, I am able to communicate with my subconscious mind, and "write" or "program" what belief I would like to shape my reality.

Our perceptions shape our reality. Change, or re-program the perception, and you change or re-program your reality, or life.

By doing this, I was able to resolve, dissolve, and evolve that particular internal conflict.

Think about this, the name of this blog is "the gift is in the wound", which, translated, means, our greatest gifts, or wisdoms, or learnings, are found in our greatest pains, or our greatest "mistakes". Our infirmities.

The medicine is in the pain. And I've had a lotta physical pain in the last 3 weeks. Lots of "medicine" or wisdom. If there is a limiting belief system active in my subconscious mind, that states, "It's not Ok to make mistakes.", well then I am not receiving said "gifts", or wisdoms.

I have learned from my infirmity.

Message #1: Slow the fuck down! Just be. In my zest and passion for life, just about everything sounds great, and I wish to directly experience as many things as possible. So I say yes to a lot of new things. While this is well-intentioned, it leaves me short of energy sometimes, with less to focus on the things I really am super passionate about.

I came up with a mantra that may resolve this "road to hell is paved with good intentions" phenomena.

"I will march to the things I AM passionate about, instead of being passionate about the things that I AM currently marching to"

Message #2: Write. Write. Write. Every day. Is it coincidental that my entire upper body has writhed in pain for nearly 3 weeks, EXCEPT for my right arm and hand, or writing arm and hand? And while I have been writing every day, it hasn't been in that way of, this is my life mission, or dharma, at this time.

Message received.

"Feather, Pebble, Brick."-----a saying referring to how universal messages will get louder and louder if you are out of sync, and not listening to them.

I got hit with the brick.

Message #3: A renewed sense of reverence, and awe at just how fragile life can be. Tomorrow is promised to no one, so I am going to choose(again) to enjoy my unfolding present moments even more. It should never take something bad, to make us realize how good we have it.

Tomorrow is promised to no one.

I am grateful for the newfound wisdom, and next time, I'll choose to tune in and listen when the "feather" arrives, rather than get drilled with the "brick".

Be well.

Aho,

Eric